People today often complain about being ignored on social media or left without a reply to a message. The experience feels personal and frustrating, but the practice known as “ghosting” has become a common part of digital life. It happens when someone suddenly cuts off contact without explanation, leaving the other person unsure what went wrong.
Ghosting is most often linked to dating apps, where a conversation can end in silence with no warning. Yet researchers point out that the behavior is not new. Disappearing from relationships, friendships, or even professional commitments has always existed. What the internet changed is how easy and quick it is to vanish from view.
The cultural theorist Dominic Pettman describes ghosting as something we created alongside digital communication. Just as the invention of cars brought car accidents, online platforms created the possibility of disappearing without a trace. Our phones keep us constantly reachable, which makes the sudden drop-off feel even sharper.
Language has also shifted to reflect this pattern. In earlier centuries, “ghosted” meant someone had died. Later, it referred to blurry images on television screens. Only in the 2000s did the term take on its modern meaning of ignoring messages or blocking contact. The popularity of the word itself may have helped normalize the practice.
But ghosting is not limited to romance. Pettman notes that people can be ghosted by family, employers, or even public figures. A celebrity who leaves the spotlight, a friend who cuts ties, or a company that closes suddenly can all be described in these terms. Seen broadly, ghosting is one more way of describing abandonment.
Some philosophers argue that the internet makes this form of silence more visible. A checkmark showing a message was read but unanswered, for example, removes any doubt. Technology gives us proof that attention was there but no reply followed. This visibility may explain why ghosting feels harsher than past forms of being ignored.
Although it is often described as rude, ghosting can also be practical. People may end contact quickly to avoid drawn-out conversations or unhealthy relationships. Compared to subtle “breadcrumbing,” where small signs of interest keep someone hanging on, ghosting can even be seen as a clearer end.
At the same time, the habit reflects the overload of digital communication. With so many messages, contacts, and feeds competing for attention, silence becomes a survival strategy. Pettman suggests that detaching is now a necessary skill, even if it causes discomfort for the person left behind.
The frustration of ghosting may lie less in the silence itself than in how much we can now see. Social media and messaging apps give us constant clues about the presence of others, yet we cannot force a response. That imbalance leaves many people haunted not by absence, but by knowing too much.
Ghosting is unlikely to disappear, since it is tied to how people manage relationships online. It is not always fair or kind, but it has become part of modern interaction. For those learning to navigate digital culture, the challenge is less about avoiding ghosting entirely and more about setting expectations and finding healthier ways to connect.
Based on a report by The New Yorker